7-Day Relationship Challenge – Time To Be Present

Welcome to Week 10 of the 90 Day New Page Challenge!

How did week 9 go? 

Did you put the phone down at pickup? Leave a note on a pillow? Ask a question that got a real answer instead of a one-word response and a shrug that could mean literally anything?

I hope you had at least one genuine moment of connection with your kid this week. And if the yes afternoon got completely out of hand and messier than you planned? Perfect. Well done!

Now. Let’s talk about Week 10.

This Week, We’re Focusing on Our Partners.

Last week was about our kids. This week is about the person we’re doing all of this with. Or if you’re flying solo, the most important people in your life. The ones who show up for you. The ones who deserve more than the exhausted, scraped-together, running-on-fumes version of you that’s still technically standing at the end of the day.

Week 10 is all about a relationship reset. And before you roll your eyes and assume I’m about to make you take a love language quiz and have a very serious conversation about your feelings, I’m not. I’m talking about small, intentional gestures that remind the people closest to you that they are seen, appreciated, and genuinely loved.

Because here’s the honest truth that nobody talks about: our partners almost always get the worst of us.

Why Relationships Need a Reset Too

When life gets busy, connection is the first thing to quietly disappear. Not with a dramatic moment you can point to. It slowly, gradually becomes two people going through the motions of a shared life without actually reaching each other. Having the same conversations about schedules and groceries and who’s picking up the kids, while the actual relationship gets quietly pushed to the back burner.

It doesn’t take a grand romantic gesture to fix it.

It takes small things. Done on purpose. 

Week 10 Nudges — Pick a Few and Actually Do Them

Same rules as always: pick two or three, actually do them, and notice what shifts.

Send an appreciation text: Right now, today, send your partner a text that tells them something specific you appreciate about them. Not “you’re great!” Something real. Something you actually noticed this week. “I noticed how hard you’ve been working, and I don’t say this enough, thank you.” Three sentences. Send it before you finish reading this. Yes, right now. The blog post will still be here.

The 20-second hug: This sounds almost insultingly simple and is somehow wildly powerful. Most hugs last about three seconds, which is enough time to briefly acknowledge that the other person exists and then move on. A 20-second hug is long enough to actually feel like something. Long enough for your nervous systems to sync up, for your shoulders to drop, and for both of you to remember that you actually really like each other. Try it tonight. 

Ask “How can I support you?”: Not “what do you need,” which sounds like a customer service interaction. Not “are you okay,” which always gets a “fine” and nothing more. Just: “How can I support you right now?” Then listen to the actual answer. This question quietly communicates: I’m paying attention, I’m on your team, and I actually want to help. It opens up conversations that “how was your day” has never once successfully opened in the history of relationships.

No defensiveness for one day: This is the hard one. Pick one day this week and make a decision that when your partner says something that pings your defenses, you are not going to react. You are going to listen. Try to actually understand what they mean instead of immediately building a rebuttal in your head while they’re still talking and nodding like you’re listening when you absolutely are not. It will be harder than you think and more worth it than you expect. 

Ready to Level Up? Here’s Your Bonus Challenge:

If you’re feeling ambitious this week, try the Level Up Challenge:

A device-free date.

No phones. No screens. No, “just let me check one thing real quick” that turns into seven minutes of scrolling while your partner sits across from you, wondering why they came. Just two people. Fully present. Actually paying attention to each other for a few consecutive hours without a single notification interrupting the flow.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. Dinner at home after the kids are in bed absolutely counts. A walk counts. Coffee on the porch counts. The location is not the point. The presence is the point. If you need ideas, here are 20 cheap or free date ideas. And here’s 18 more!

It’s simple. It’s slightly uncomfortable for the first ten minutes if you’re used to the phones being there as a buffer. And it is absolutely, completely worth it.

If a full date feels like too much this week, try a device-free dinner. Or a device-free hour on the couch. Just put the phones in another room and be there.

We’re In This Together

I’ll be on Instagram sharing how Week 10 is actually going — including the 20-second hug that felt weird at second seven and then really, really didn’t, and the no-defensiveness day that humbled me more than I expected.

Come find me and show me what you’re doing for the people you love this week!

• Sign up for weekly emails — every Sunday, the new theme and nudges land in your inbox
• Follow along on IG — daily updates, behind-the-scenes, and more shenanigans than I probably should share publicly
• Download the 90-Day New Page Challenge calendar – download and print the free 90-Day New Page Challenge calendar and write down your nudges each week to help you stay organized.
• Tag me and use #90DayNewPage — I will find your posts, cheer loudly, and repost you. Share the messy parts. Especially the messy parts.

If you’re just finding us and want to join, learn more about the challenge here: https://lifeonanewpage.com/the-90-day-new-page-challenge-lets-level-up-together/

Let’s keep getting 1% better every day. Now go send that appreciation text before you put your phone down and completely forget you were ever going to do it.